Many of us don’t feel fulfilled in our lives. Sometimes, we feel that we could be doing more or should be doing more. Sometimes, we get caught comparing ourselves to others or isolating ourselves, because we lack the confidence to interact with people. All these things can keep us from realizing our potential and reaching what we want.
This is the situation that Andrew found himself in. He had problems with his confidence and felt that he was worse than his friends. This lack of confidence was affecting his life, so he decided to find some help about it. After some work, he was able to say this to his future self: “You’ve come so far from where you were and things maybe aren’t gonna be super-duper, but you can make the best of it.” This shows that it is possible to change low self-confidence to a better one, changing the person’s outlook on life and on themselves. However, before going into more detail about that, it’s important to talk about confidence in general.
What about confidence?
Confidence is the belief that a person has in his/her worth, skills and ability to have a positive influence on the world and other people. It has a lot to do with self-esteem.
Confidence plays a big role in many different aspects of our life. It has to do with our jobs, our friends, even our hobbies. Confidence has to do with whether or not we take risks, even small ones, it impacts the decisions we make and it has to do with how we approach others.
For instance, a person with a low confidence is less likely to look for career advancement, because they don’t trust themselves to do well at a position that carries more responsibility. Low confidence can prevent the person from approaching someone they like, as they feel they will be rejected. It can make the person shy away from opportunities, because they feel they can’t handle it.
In general, low confidence can be a serious issue. What makes it problematic is also that it can lead to a vicious cycle.
For instance, a person with low confidence might try an opportunity. But if they feel that they can’t handle it, they tend to be nervous and anxious. This causes them a lot of stress and adds distraction, so it’s more likely they won’t do the job all that well. This, in turn, confirms their fears and adds to their insecurity.
It can be hard to break this cycle, but it’s possible to do so.
How can a person reach fulfillment and overcome low confidence?
It usually takes a fair amount of work to overcome one’s low confidence. However, it can be done, especially with outside help.
The person can do a lot to improve, but often they find that in the first stages of this personal work, they need some reassurance and help from someone else. Otherwise, it can be very easy to return to familiar patterns of thinking. Here is where a coach can help.
A coach can help change thinking patterns to more positive ones and to build up one’s self-confidence and self-esteem. Working together, the coach and the person can develop new strategies to make increased self-confidence a lasting change.
Here is what Andrew has to say on the experience. He mentions this after just after five sessions: “I have had a lot of breakthroughs.”
An idea that Andrew had that was contributing to his low self-confidence was that others were better than him. However, he was able to change that thinking pattern, saying: “No-one’s better than me, no-one’s worse than me.”
Andrew’s example shows that a change can happen in a person’s self-confidence. It can increase, changing different aspects of a person’s life for the better. The perceptions that a person has of the world and of their own worth can also change, making their attitude more positive. This can involve serious work, and it’s easier when a coach is involved in the process, helping the person reach fulfillment by improving their self-confidence and self-esteem.